Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
