why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This baby is an asshole
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
