also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
