i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
