google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
