just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
