just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
