i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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