why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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