so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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