If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
