I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
