WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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