So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
