yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
