i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
