ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
