I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
