He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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