Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
