My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
