Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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