If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
