Pants 0. Shit 1.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
