We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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