Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
