what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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