he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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