The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
