garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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