i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
