i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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