So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
my liver is dry heaving
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
