I think i peed on brittanys purse
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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