I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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