She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
