we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize