Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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