the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
