There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
