I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
