I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
