oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
