so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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