i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize