Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
