Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
