did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
a search helicopter?!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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