my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
