Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
