I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
