Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
