just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
