I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Im part way to drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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