someone threw a dead crab at me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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