sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
