just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize