There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize