Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
