If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you made out with another girl for some wings
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize