I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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