the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
