Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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