The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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