I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
