Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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