she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize