Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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