I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
