We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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