omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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